GRAGFNY
by taggerung0254
Summary: It begins with Reno and Rude on a stake out. It's all part of Rude's Master Plan: GRAGFNY. Stay tuned for new developments in GRAGFNY.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, this is ridiculously silly. I am just in stitches over writing this. Hope you will be too! **

**I don't own FF VII or any of her characters. I just use them in apparently silly ways. **

"Man, I hate stake outs..."

"..."

"I hear you, man. Why the hell are we in a fucking dumpster for a stake out, anyway? You'd think Rufus would at least give us a car or a van or some shit like that."

"..."

"Glad you agree with me, Rude. How much longer you think they'll be in there?"

"..."

"That long? Shit. I didn't even bring something to read. I've already memorized the ingredient list and nutritional information from my pack of Funions. Lemme see what your Frito's have in them."

"...hmmm..."

"Huh? What's wr- Fuck, Rude! What the fuck is the matter with you, farting like that in here?"

"Better out than in."

"Not in an enclosed space, you bald bastard. (pinches nose) Shit, I can almost taste that. (gags) What the fuck crawled up your ass and DIED?!"

"Nothing. You don't have to cry about it."

"I'm not crying, Rude. The stench is making my eyes tear up. It's like you set off a goddamn mustard bomb in here. (pulls shirt up over nose) Open the lid."

"Can't."

"What the fuck do you mean, you can't? I'm dying cause of your ass. Literally. What did you eat to make it that noxious?"

"Chili dog. Hot wings. Broccoli."

"Fuck you, dude! Why the HELL did you eat that when you knew we had a stake out today?!"

"..."

"I don't give a shit if you were in the mood for it or not, you sick bastard! They'll be calling in the fucking HAZMAT guys cause you couldn't keep your ass shut!"

"Someone's coming out the back door."

"Fuck...(slides to the bottom of the dumpster and tries not to retch)"

"Om my gawd...what the hell died out here? CLOUD! Did you leave a dead Malboro in the dumpster?" (Cloud pokes his head out of the door frame)

"No. Uhhhg, what's that smell, Tifa?"

"That's what I was asking you. Guess we'll have to hose it out or something. Wonder if Denzel tried cooking again..." (walks back inside)

"If I ever get outta this dumpster, I'm gunna not only kick your ass, but buy you a fucking life-time supply of Gas-B-Gone."

"...hmmm..."

"FUCKING HELL RUDE! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!"

"..."

"That's it. Rufus can get his own fucking recipe for chocolate cake. I'm outta here. (climbs out of dumpster) FUCK! My suit is fucking permeated with the STENCH! Fah!"

"...!"

"Where the fuck else am I going? I'm going to see if Tifa'll let me borrow her washer and dryer. Your smelly ass is going to stay in there and ROT." (walks to the door)

"...plan GRAGFNY is set in motion..."

**omg...I wrote this, and I'm STILL cracking up! Rofl **

**Taggy**


	2. Chapter 2

**YAY for the newest chapter of GRAGFNY! These are going to purposefully short chapters. Slightly more fun and challenging this way. Enjoy!**

**I don't own FF VII or any of her characters. **

"Damn, my hands are COLD!"

"Um...Yuffie, that's because your hands are in the freezer." Tifa had been watching her friend shiver from the cold air that came from the open freezer door while humming to herself, wondering what could possess Yuffie to do such a thing but not quite sure she wanted to know the answer.

"Yep!" Yuffie continued to hum, now rocking back and forth on her feet. Cloud walked in, and stood blinking at Yuffie for a moment.

"Why are your hands in the freezer, Yuffie?"

"Huh? Hey, Cloud! And my hands are in the freezer because Reno's in the bar."

"Makes perfect sense."

"I thought so." As she went back to humming Cloud blinked at her again before turning to Tifa. She shrugged and went back to putting the dishes away. "Alrighty! I think I'm done here!"

"Do you..." Cloud asked, looking at Tifa.

"No clue. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah." Suddenly, a blood-curdling scream was heard from the bar, followed by a bellow of rage and a blurred image of Yuffie running through the kitchen and out the back door. Half a second later, a blurred image of Reno ran through the kitchen after her, leaving whispered obscenities in his wake. Cloud blinked again. "What's for lunch?"

"Hamburgers." Three loud crashes came from outside and then silence. "Oh, we have pickles this time, too."

"Good."

**Several minutes later...**

"God dammit, Yuffie! What the hell's the matter with you!? And how the hell did you get your hands to be THAT cold?!" Reno was glaring at the ninja, who was handcuffed to her chair. There was a fresh beer in front of him, but it hadn't made his mood any brighter.

"Well, they WERE in the freezer for fifteen minutes..."

"WHY?! What god's puppy did I kick for me to have this bad of a day?"

"Awww, have you been sucking at life today, Reno?" Yuffie said, hugging Reno's neck from behind. He face was right next to his. "It'll get better! I wouldn't have done that if I'd known you were having such a bad day."

"What the fu...how'd you get out of those handcuffs!? They're fucking escape proof!" He sat up straight and turned his head to glare at Yuffie. The effect was lost entirely, seeing as his face was inches away from hers. All she did was giggle and hug him tighter. "Most people get nervous when I'm pissed off, Ninja-Girl."

"Why? You're such a sweet guy!"

"What the hell is with you and being nice to me?"

"..."

"Hey, what'd I say to make you go all sad?"

"Nothing!" She was smiling again. "Let's go get ice cream, Reno!"

"Beer doesn't mix with ice cream."

"You haven't touched that one yet! It's almost room temperature by now. Let's go! Let's go!" Yuffie let go of his neck and grabbed one of his arms, tugging on it to make him follow her. "Reno! C'mon!"

"Fine, you're paying for it though. That's what you get for putting cold hands on my stomach. If I get frost bite from that, your ass is in trouble, Ninja-Girl."

"Aww, it'll be an interesting scar!"

"I don't want a damn hand-shaped scar on my stomach!"

"Just say that an eskimo was eager to get in your pants."

"Fuck that. I like a tall, blond woman with a nice ass, not someone covered head to toe in fur. How am I supposed to get laid when there's all that clothing and fur in the way?"

"You're such a pig-headed male, Reno."

"Thanks."


	3. Chapter 3

**Ah, finally a weekend off! I've done nothing but work the past week. I kid you not. Should be a little better this week, though. **

**I don't own FF VII or any of her characters. **

"..."

"Huh? Oh, nothing. I just had a really fucked up dream last night."

"...about?"

"No way! I'm not telling you! You'll just use it for blackmail or some shit like that. I'm going out for some coffee, the stuff they have here sucks." Reno paused before he went out the door. "Want anything while I'm out?"

"Crullers."

"Kay. See you later."

**RING! RING! **

"Rude."

_'How's the plan coming along?' _

"Smoothly."

_'Good, good. You didn't happen to find any of that cake for analysis did you?'_

"No, sir."

_'Ah, well, that was just a bonus, after all. Keep up the good work.' _

"Yes, sir."

**Meanwhile...**

"Damn it..." Reno was staring at the sidewalk he was on, counting each line in the cement in an effort to get his mind off the dream he'd had last night. He couldn't go more than ten lines without thinking about it. "Damn it..."

"Hey!" He nearly fell over from a sudden weight on his back and shoulders. A pair of arms were around his neck as well. "What're you damning in public?"

"Yuffie! Get off me! How many times do I have to tell you not to jump on me?"

"Heehee." Yuffie climbed down from his back but took hold of his left arm. "So what are you damning about? Tell me! Please?"

"I had a fucked up dream, if you have to know."

"Really, what was it about?" Reno gave her a strange look, but she kept smiling up at him anyway.

"Well, there was this hot woman in my bed, naked and moaning my name."

"Um...that's weird how? You probably think about sex all the time."

"I'm not done, stupid."

"Oh."

"The fucking weird part was that you showed up. Woke my ass up in a hurry. Couldn't sleep after that."

"Oh. Sorry I ruined your wet dream."

"It wasn't a wet dream!" Several people stopped to stare at Reno when he yelled this. He glared at them. "What the hell are you looking at?" He turned his glare on to Yuffie. "I don't have fucking wet dreams. I haven't had one since I was like twelve."

"It's okay to admit it, Reno. It happens to people all the time! Just when men do it there's a bigger mess."

"Do you even think about the shit that comes out of your mouth?"

"Hmm...not really. Why?"

"Nevermind. Why are you attached to my arm?"

"Cause I want to be?"

"You are so damn weird."

"I know. Where were you going, anyway? Lunch? Let's get lunch! I'm hungry."

"I'm getting coffee and crullers."

"Awww, then let's get some coffee! They have cakes and cookies there."

"Hell no! You're hyper enough as it is! No sugar for you."

"Then get lunch with me! Then I won't be hyper from sugar. We can get coffee and donuts after!"

"I told you, you're not getting any fucking donuts."

"I don't want donuts! I want to have coffee with you after lunch."

"Damn it..."

"Hey, where are you going? Reno?!" He had made an abrupt turn to the right, walking to a building and opening the door.

"You want food or not, Yuffie?"

"I'm coming!" She ran the few steps to the door he was holding open. "Is this place good?"

"Yeah. And don't look at me like that again."

"Look at you?"

"Yeah, like you're a kitten I abandoned in the snow. It bugs the shit out of me."

"Aww!" Yuffie hugged him tightly. "I knew you cared."

"W-would you stop that!? There's no reason to hug me, damn it!"

"Just for that, I won't let go until you hug me back." Reno wrapped one arm around her, grumbling under his breath. "Both arms." A very large sigh was heard from him, but he complied. "That's better! Let's get a table!"

"Hehehe." Reno glanced at the hostess, who was giggling behind one hand. "You're such a cute couple."

"What the f...we're not a couple!"

"Of course not. Follow me to your table, please."

"Damn it..."


	4. Chapter 4

**Woo, another chapter, and it's getting interesting! **

**I don't own FF VII or any of her characters.**

"Fuck!" Every member of the office staff stopped dead in their tracks, staring at the pile of papers that had been in the Turk's hands until an intern had bumped into him, dropping his own stack of papers. "FUCK!"

"I-I-I s-sorry I-I-I..." The poor intern stopped trying to talk when Reno transferred his glare from the paper on the floor to him. He panicked when Reno knelt down and started gathering the papers. The man went to help but a glare from Reno stopped him in his tracks.

"What the hell are you standing there for?! Go do something. We pay you to do something, not stand there like a fucking idiot."

"B-but I c-c-could help you..."

"Are you stupid or something? MY reports are classified, which means a peon like you can't read them. Now get out of my sight before I shoot you." The intern was still standing there, uncertain of what action to take. "That means NOW, stupid." The intern ran off, bumping into the water cooler and nearly knocking it over. "Fucking idiot...who hires these people? Just my damn luck. I wake up late, the water heater in my complex was broken, my toaster EXPLODED, I stepped in a fucking ice puddle and soaked my shoe AND pants, there's no coffee in this building AND a shortage of pens. What the hell else can go wrong today?"

"Are you sucking at life again, Reno?"

"Oh, fuck no..." Reno said to the papers on the floor, a look of despair on his face. "Fuck no."

"Hey, want some help?" Yuffie was squatting down next to him, her face sideways as she tried to look at him.

"How the hell did you get in here? And no, you can't help me, cause some of this shit is classified."

"Oh please, like you're up to something I don't already know about. Here." She grabbed a few papers before he could stop her and shuffled them into a neat pile. "See? I can help."

"Why are you here?" He asked testily over his shoulder, walking back to his office. He placed the papers on his desk, Yuffie doing the same.

"I wanted to see you! I've been out of town for nearly two months on a WRO expedition. Thought you'd miss me."

"Humph."

"Heeeeey, you didn't miss me, Reno?" Yuffie was pouting at him. Reno threw the papers he was sorting onto his desk, making her jump.

"Isn't there someone else you can annoy today?"

"What?"

"I've had a REALLY bad day, and I don't need you here to make it worse. So go away."

"..."

"What? What are you doing? DAMN IT! Why are you crying?!" She was trying not to cry, and making an expression that cause Reno to get even angrier. "GOD DAMN IT!" He kicked his trash can across the room before slamming his office door shut. He was mentally kicking himself as he walked back to Yuffie and hugged her tightly. The moment he did, she started wailing and sobbing loudly. "Damn it..."

"Reno, where's that report? Huh?" Tseng had stopped with his hand on the door, blinking at the scene before him. "I'll get it later, then." Reno glared at the door, mentally daring someone else to open it so that he could hurt them. No one tried to, and Reno felt his anger transforming into guilt. He didn't try speaking until Yuffie was only hiccuping instead of sobbing.

"Look, I didn't mean it like that, okay?" His only response was a sniffle. "I've had a shitty day, everything has gone wrong, and now I've gone and made you fucking cry." He sighed. "And yes, I do miss you when you're gone, but if you tell anyone that I'll kill you." This was followed by another sniffle and a soft laugh. "Here." Reno let go of her, feeling strangely reluctant to do so, and handed her a box of tissues. "There's a bathroom in there." A nod toward a door in the corner let her know where it was.

"Why do you have tissues?"

"Elena puts them there. Don't ask me why, she goes psycho if you throw them out." Yuffie disappeared for a few minutes, coming back into his office with tissue box in hand. She put it back in its place, and went to the door. Reno stopped it from opening with a hand on the door. "Now what's wrong? I know I'm a piece of shit for making you cry, but that's no reason not to look at me."

"You think I'm annoying?"

"No. You're frustrating sometimes, but not annoying. Elena with her tissues is fucking annoying."

"Really?" She turned around and finally looked at him.

"HEY! I thought I told you not to look at me like that!" He pointed a finger at her face, which she blinked at before trying to bite it. Her teeth closed on air, a 'click' almost echoing through the office. She smiled then, and Reno felt relieved. "Good thing you didn't really bite me, Yuffie. You could have rabies or some shit like that."

"Heh. I've had my shots, thankyouverymuch."

"So you okay now? You're not going to go home and cry again or some shit?"

"Nope. But, I want another hug." Reno complied, and found himself wondering what shampoo she used. It smelled good on her for some reason.

"Why are you always hugging on me and being nice? I don't get it. I just proved that I'm an ass, so why am I special out of all your male friends?"

"Cause I like you."

"That's not an answer."

"..."

One minute he was hugging Yuffie, and the next he found her gone and his office door open. He was staring off into space, which earned him some glances from people walking past his office. It wasn't from the shock of Yuffie kissing him. He was trying to figure out why he had enjoyed it.

"What the fuck..."

**Slightly later on, in Rude's office...**

"How's GRAGFNY going, Rude?" Tseng asked, flipping though a few papers Rude had handed him.

"Not sure."

"Not sure? When it was going so well?"

"..."

"Well, keep me posted. Hopefully this little snag won't become an enormous one."

"..."


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm on a roll this week. It's fun. **

**I don't own FF VII or any of her characters. I just use them for my own amusement. **

"Two weeks." He heard Yuffie yelp in surprise at seeing and hearing him in her apartment. Reno was staring at the television, not really paying much attention to it. She was off to his right, standing just outside the kitchen area. "You've been hiding for two weeks."

"I'm not hiding."

"What do you call it then?"

"..."

"See? Never doubt me, I'm always right. Why don't you have any furniture?" He looked around the apartment, finding nothing but a television stand and a low table. "At least paint the damn walls. It's so sterile if you leave it empty and white like this. Not homey at all."

"Cause it's not my home. I just stay here."

"At least tell me you have a fucking bed."

"I sleep on a futon."

"A folding one, or those things from Wutai?"

"The ones from Wutai. What do you want, Reno?"

"I wanted to see you." He finally turned to look at her. Even in the dim, flickering light he could tell she was tired. "You stopped popping up everywhere I went, so I had to find you."

"How? No one but Reeve knows where I stay, and he won't tell."

"Yeah, I had to tie him up, that damn cat too, and hack his computer a little to find out where you live. He'll be pissed at me for a while. Why aren't you sleeping? You love sleeping."

"I dunno..."

"Why'd you run off like that?"

"..."

"Stop hanging around Vincent, you're starting to sound like him." She snorted at that and Reno went back to looking at the television. "I can't remember the last time someone kissed me just to kiss me. I don't kiss anyone, come to think about it."

"Why?"

"Too much like a promise. Kiss a girl, and she thinks you love her for some reason."

"Reno, can't...can't we just pretend it didn't happen?" Yuffie almost sounded desperate.

"Sure." There was a sigh of relief from Yuffie. It was short lived, though. Reno walked over to her, and kissed her. Not like before, though. This kiss was deep and passionate. She was shocked at first, but quickly returned it. Yuffie looked up at him with wide eyes when he pulled away. "But you can't pretend that didn't happen."

"Y-you don't even like me like that..."

"I don't?" He leaned in to whisper in her ear. "You didn't just show up in that dream, Yuffie. You were the one moaning my name in bed." He left then, but he didn't run. He just walked out the door and shut it behind him quietly.

**Meanwhile...**

_'What do you mean 'you lost track of him'!?' _

"The rain's on his side, Sir."

_'Bah, fine. This isn't going according to plan is it?' _

"No, Sir."

_'Well, there's nothing to be done about it. Let's initiate Emergency Plan C.' _

"Emergency Plan C: GRAYAWPNCIP begins as we speak."


	6. Chapter 6

**Woo! So much has been going on! My niece was FINALLY born after much drama and stupidity on the doctor's part. Also, I'm moving so that makes updating slow as all hell. I swear I haven't forgotten about you readers out there! I love you! And The Drew Carry Show is so funny. Ryan Styles cracks me up. **

**I don't own FF VII or any of her characters. I just let my plotbunnies gnaw on them. **

"It's thirty fucking degrees outside, why the hell are we having a LUAU?!" Reno was grumpy. He was walking down the street, dressed for the beach under his coat, carrying a pair of flip-flops in the hand that wasn't stuffed into a pocket.

"..."

"Yeah, yeah, free booze. But why the hell did Rufus all of a sudden decide to have a party?"

"Better than moping around at home..."

"Fuck you dude, you don't even know what I'm moping about."

"..."

"At least you ordered the good booze."

"...Rufus wanted daiquiris and margaritas."

"Son of a bi-"

"I got beer too."

"Shit, don't scare me like that."

The party, held in a large room decorated in a tropical theme, was underway when Reno got there. He made a beeline for the bar, but encountered Reeve sitting beside a kiddie pool, winding up water toys and putting them in the pool.

"What the fuck are you doing, Reeve?"

"Oh, just mixing up the drinks." Reeve put a mermaid into the pool, and began winding up another toy. "Want a margarita, Reno? I think it's ready for drinking."

"No way. Beer calling my name."

"Ah, well, more for us!" Cait Sith walked up, holding a glass the size of a fish bowl. "Thank you, Cait." Reno walked away, shaking his head. The bar made him happy, seeing as a cold bottle of his favorite beer was waiting for him there. Rude was sitting next to him, his own beer in front of him.

"..."

"I agree. He's seriously fucked up. He'll be plastered by the time he's half through with that drink."

By the time Reno was on his third drink, Rude had left to talk with Elena and Tseng. He scowled at his friends and went to turn back to the drink rack when he heard Reeve yelling across the room.

"Tifa! Yuffie! Glad you made it! Come over and have a drink! Cait's getting more glasses!" The man was gesturing wildly for them to cross the room. The girls waved and went to hang up their coats. Tifa just threw hers off and nearly pranced over to where Reeve was. Reno didn't really care what Tifa did. It was Yuffie he was watching. She was wearing a bright green bikini with a white and green sarong.

He waited until Tifa and Reeve were deep in conversation before he moved. There were blue curtains hanging on the walls, so he used them to keep anyone from seeing where he went. Right when Tifa started laughing so hard her drink went out her nose, Reno reached out and pulled Yuffie back behind the curtains with him. He had one hand over her mouth to keep her from yelling.

"It's me." Her body relaxed and he let her go. "C'mon."

"Where?"

"Do you really want to stay at a fucking luau?"

"No..."

"Then c'mon." He started walking, Yuffie following behind him. "What the hell are you staring at?"

"The flowers on your shirt match your hair..."

"So? You're wearing a bright green bikini and orange flip-flops."

"Why are we using the stairs, Reno?"

"Cause the elevators make noise, and I don't feel like having that entire room know we're going somewhere." Reno put out a hand suddenly, feeling the wall on his right. "Where the fuck is that switch...there it is." He turned to Yuffie. "Not a word about this corridor, got it, Ninja-girl?"

"Kay. What is this place, Reno?"

"It's a floor between floors. Like a secret lair, just without the lava-pit." Yuffie giggled.

"Kind of a letdown. Are there any of those guys running around in silver jumpsuits with laser guns?"

"Nah, but I bet Rufus has a few of them for his own amusement. This is where we hide the donuts, though." Another giggle.

"So, why are we here?"

"Cause I don't want to be at a fucking luau." Reno opened a door and walked in. "You going to wait out there all night?" He heard her walk in while he was messing around with a remote control. Lights suddenly came on, and a television that spanned the entire wall turned on with a soft 'click'. "What you want to watch?" There was a seemingly endless list of movies on the screen.

"Something funny."

"Dogma it is." Reno plopped down on an over-sized couch, looking at the remote in his hands. Yuffie sat down gingerly next to him, sliding the flip-flops off her feet as Reno had done. He looked at her for a second after starting the movie, then sat up, pulling her against him as he settled back into the corner seat. "I don't like you being scared of me."

"I'm not scared...I just don't know what to think."

"What's to think about?"

"You KNOW what."

"What the hell's so wrong with me kissing you? You enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. What's the problem?"

"Nothing...you really liked kissing me?"

"Yeah." He shifted, pulling a hidden drawer out from the front of the armrest. Yuffie found a cold can of Dr. Pepper being handed to her. "I'd kiss you again, but that outfit would end up on the floor."

"Do you really not have that much self-control, Reno?"

"Heh, not with you wearing that. I want to take it off you anyway."

"Why?"

"Because I want you naked. You're fucking hot, Yuffie." She giggled, and completely relaxed against him. "That's better. And no more talking during the movie. I hate that shit."

"Kay."

**Back at the party...**

"How in the world can you lose track of two people in THIS building?"

"We're searching the security feeds now, sir."

"Good. It wasn't easy to set up this party on such short notice, I'd hate to think it went to waste."

"No waste, sir..." Rude said, nodding in the direction of the kiddie pool near the bar. Reeve and Tifa were positively drunk and holding races with the water toys in the pool.

"Yes, you're right. That's entirely amusing...I wonder if I can wring the recipe for her chocolate cake out of her while she's drunk..."

**Back to the movie...**

"Hey Reno?"

"I'm going to gag you if you don't shut up, Yuffie."

"Reno, is there anything this couch DOESN'T have in it? You've got a cooler, a snack drawer, back up remotes..."

"It doesn't have a built in toilet. But only cause there wasn't a feasible way to work the plumbing part of it."

"...you'd use the bathroom on your couch?"

"Fuck no! That's why we wanted to build a toilet in it, so that we could watch the game uninterrupted. It's got something else though. Watch this shit." Reno leaned back slightly, and the back section of the couch where he was sitting reclined. A foot rest came into being too. "Neat, huh?"

"I'm seriously jealous."

"Yeah. This couch is fucking awesome."


	7. Chapter 7

**I love this story. I really do. Nothing makes me laugh QUITE as much. Enjoy! **

**I don't own FF VII or any of her characters. I just allow the hilarity out. XD**

"This is a MAJOR breach of security! How could this happen, on this floor? There is obviously a traitor in our midst. We need to find the culprit, and find him quickly!"

"Working on it, Tseng."

"What have you found, Rude?"

"All security feeds were cut for thirty minutes."

"Why didn't any of the alarms go off then?"

"Replaced the feeds and rewrote the programs."

"With what?"

"Springer, the Girl on Girl on Girl on Guy on Goat episode."

"What?!"

"Best episode next to Narcoleptic Transvestite Mimes."

"I don't care what episode was the best! I care about finding the person responsible for this theft!"

"What the hell are you yelling about this early in the mor-HOLY FUCK! What? How?"

"Reno, watch your language, you know I hate that."

"How the fuck am I supposed to watch my language when shit like this has happened? Where's the fucking security feed?"

"Feeds were replaced."

"Replaced? With what?"

"Springer, Girl on Girl on Girl on Guy on Goat episode."

"That's the best episode...next to Narcoleptic Transvestite Mimes."

"Yeah."

"I'm surrounded by idiots..."

"Nothing here, Boss."

"It would take an evil genius to steal that and leave no trace...especially from our Lair."

"'Lair'? What the fuck kind of gay name is that? 'Lair'...shit. Tseng?"

"Yes, Reno?"

"I'll be back in a while."

"Where is he going, Rude?"

"Don't know."

"He better come back with something..."

"Always does."

"True...which is why he's a Turk to begin with."

**Thirty Minutes Later...**

"Hey, Reno."

"I don't fucking believe it..."

"Awww, what's the matter? Are you sucking at life again today?"

"Yuffie...how the hell did you even steal that? It took three men to move that damn thing in the first place!"

"Oh, this? Hehe. I'm just that good."

"I know you're good, Yuffie, but this is taking it too far!"

"But...didn't you say I needed to redecorate and get stuff in my apartment?"

"Not with that! And don't pout at me! You know I can't stand it."

"But I wanna keep it."

"If you were wearing more clothes, I'd have a better chance of resisting."

"So...if I get naked I can keep it?"

"NO. You're giving it back."

"Whhhhhhhhhhy Reno?"

"Wha-put your clothes back ommmfmphmm..."

**Some time later, back in the 'Lair'...**

"Reno! Where have you been? Any luck finding...why are your clothes disheveled?"

"Don't ask, Boss."

"I take it you didn't find anything?"

"Not a fucking thing. It's just not the same, is it Rude?"

"...no."

"I know man, I'm about to fucking cry too. I'm really going to miss that couch..."


	8. Chapter 8

**Avast, SeaMonkeys! Here's a much belated update! I have grand plans for this story's ending! Enjoy! **

**I don't own FF VII or any characters therein. I am just a tool of my muse and must answer to her call. Even at three o'clock in the morning and have to wake at five-thirty for work. Not at all bitter about that. Not one bit. .**

"See you later, Rude." Reno was walking out the door, coat over his shoulder.

"…"

"Going to see an old friend. I'll say 'Hi' for you."

"Who do we both know outside of work?"

"Not a who, man. Not a who." Reno smirked before shutting the door behind him. Rude sat at his desk for a moment, staring at the doorway his partner had vacated and debated following him. Reno was difficult to track at the best of times. Rude decided to stay where he was and follow the tracking beacon he installed in the sole of his partners favorite shoes when movement stopped. He would have plenty of time to finish his report and then follow.

**Later that evening...**

"Yo!"

"That isn't a greeting, Turkey!"

"Sure it is. I just used it, and you responded to it. It's a greeting."

"Uh huh. You ready?"

"For you, or for the movie?"

"Both can happen."

"My kind of night." Reno sat down on the couch, running his hand over the arm rest fondly. Yuffie curled up beside him with remote in hand. "Rude tried the tracking beacon again."

"Told you he would. Did you ditch it?"

"Yeah, left them in the wheel well of Tseng's car. Sucks though. Those were my favorite shoes."

"You could just tell them where you're going. Or are you ashamed of me, Reno?"

"No fucking way." He pulled her closer for a kiss. "I want to make them pay for not clueing me in on a new operation."

"What? You're their best operative!"

"I know, that's why I'm pissed."

"What's it called? There isn't anything the Turks are up to that Reeve doesn't know about."

"I found a note on Rufus' desk about it. Called 'GRAGFNY'. Fuck if I know what it's about." Reno paused to grab a soda. "It has something to do with chocolate cake too."

"Tifa makes an amazing chocolate cake."

"Shit yeah she does. Rufus had us stake out once to try and get a sample for analysis."

"Is that why you were at the bar that time?"

"Yup. Apparently that's when the whole thing started. Seems Rude and Tseng are in on it." Reno glowered at the television screen.

"Want me to find out for you?"

"Nah. I'll find out."

"Kay. Want anything else before the movie starts?"

"You with considerably less clothing."

"Later."

"Definitely my kind of night."

**Shinra Building, Rufus' Office**

"No luck, sir."

"I suppose you tried putting the tracker in his shoe?" Rude nodded. "Ah, well, it puts a definite hitch in GRAGFNY if we can't keep track of everyone involved. What about Tuesti's doll? It has stealth capabilities, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. You sure, sir?" Rufus sat contemplating while toying with an expensive pen before answering.

"Yes. The operation is mutually beneficial, after all."

"I'm on it."

Rufus continued to toy with the pen, lost in thought as Rude left the office. This operation was about to be taken to the next level, but to do that would require Reeve Tuesti's cooperation. He had no doubt that Reeve would be enthusiast about Operation GRAGFNY- Part Deux. The only doubt he had was getting the two key players to cooperate without knowing they were cooperating.


End file.
